he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
