my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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