he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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