The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
you made out with another girl for some wings
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
