He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
