They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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