he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
