JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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