i was born a porn star she said
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
love makes seman taste better
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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