thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am midnight drunk by noon
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
