yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
