so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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