I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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