Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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