Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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