There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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