I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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