wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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