"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
