NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
