Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
