doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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