I need help removing her.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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