It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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