So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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