wanna go halves on a baby?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize