I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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