at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
