Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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