ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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