scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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