not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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