At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.