Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished