I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....