And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
As shirtless as possible
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...