i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO