Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
