I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??