drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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