He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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