We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
