How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
