What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize