idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
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Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
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I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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