just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
