My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
