oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
