yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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