haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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