Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
wanna go halves on a baby?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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