So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
