I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
