he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
