You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
