sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
