for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
