I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
