Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
