I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
