I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
