This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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