my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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