Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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