I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
