Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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