i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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