hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
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Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
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You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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