I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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