My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
