Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
