I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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