so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So many bounce houses so little time
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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