But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
